As a quick update on my life, I have turned 24 (and in doing so saw a punch up on a motorway, a crime scene, had a pub jazz band sing to me, danced to a lot of motown things), I have been told to start planning the first stage of my thesis, I am hopefully moving (with my two flatmates) in with ross come September, a lot of people I know are talking about their brush with swine flu (I just have a cough, no big deal).

I dont know when I’ll have a working computer again though, so sporadic communications will have to do.

An interesting theory in psychology, is the thought that we are not one person, with visable traits. We are inherently social beings, so our traits change depending on where we find ourselves. We aren’t always outgoing, if we are alone in a room or in the waiting room of a dentist- we wouldn’t say hello to everyone (especially if we’re alone…). Even the most introverted of people has someone that cancels their introversion, an old friend, or family member. But then, they aren’t truely introverted, because there is an occasional where they act as confident as someone who boasts extroversion as their preferred trait.

Thoughts like these are useful, if you are different in every situation (bearing in mind “work” is a collection of the same situation repeated daily) then you can’t be defeated in the face of new challenges. Oh, I’m not good with new people and I like everyone I meet can be reversed easily. Can you truely like everyone you meet? Watching big brother, does anyone still pretend this is a social experiment, shows how quickly even the most open and amiable person is can decide that they like everyone…except that rude person. While it would be easy to embrace that each situation shows a different aspect of a person’s character, people will instead excuse these momentary blips with a situational change. I am an outgoing person…but I’ve just never liked big crowds. I get on better with men that women…except for old friends in school. I’m not an anxious person…but presentations remind me of school.

Everyone does it, so it’s an accepted social norm. We are X except when we are not. The personality tests that we do in magazines, in psychology lectures, on the internet (although “what kind of fairy would you be” shouldn’t really count) are all based on how we see ourselves. If you filled out the test, and then asked your parents, best friend and someone who just met you, to fill out their observations of you, how different would they all be? They might see you when you are more social, more anxious, more friendly, more intelligent, more caring.

But how do you find your own traits? A law of averages? Or is it when the memories of your past are most salient? Ten parties where you don’t talk to anyone new, and one where everyone knows you by the end of the night, so is remembered more. Yeah, you’re more extroverted than introverted. You are more red than blue. You are more of a dog person than a cat person.

So memories of the past shouldn’t bother my head, it was one situation. It didn’t test my concrete traits, as they may not exist. It was how I behaved in one situation, and is only salient as it was incongruent to the rest of my behaviour. The square piece in an averagely circular puzzle.

A big ol' tray of Brownies!

I MADE AWESOME BROWNIES!

190g unsalted butter

190g dark chocolate (70%)

1.5 tsp vanilla extract

4 eggs

175g sugar

110g plain flour

Then I followed the rest of the recipe here, oh nigella!

The best part of it all is the white chocolate bits, which are just melting inside! Mmm. The trouble is, that they are very rich so a small square is enough for me. Back in the old days, I could have polished off the whole lot of this, but sweet things are starting to prove “too much” for me, so I crave more savory bits.

Also, brownies remind me of when I first moved out, fi would come visit from Fife and always bring a tray of brownies in a cereal box as a small thanks for letting her stay on our couch. Good times. Weirdly, my sister is about to turn the age I was when I started planning my big move out. I always think of her as my wee sister, so trying to link that with an age I can easily remember is odd, to say the least!

At least I don’t live in Royston Vasey, I don’t think I’d be a good bramble picker.

But theres other things that I have had to change too, taking advantage of two for one offers, and going out for lunches instead of dinners because they end up being cheaper.  I’m not worried about money, because I saw this coming so squirrelled a lot of money away for times like this. Although it is rather depressing having to ponder whether it’s worth the bother of sitting and filling out a housing benefit form! I’m also cancelling my pay monthly phone, because it’s just too much money, especially for how little I use it. So I skipped down to Vodafone today and got a rubbish looking phone for £30. Its blue and as I only use my phone to text and call people, I don’t need a camera or the internet.

This is all very temporary, as soon as it gets to September, I will be back in Uni doing my Masters year, and I can stop thinking about money so much. Maybe if I have any money left around in August, I’ll go on holiday?

An amazing four days in Glasgow, its been warm enough for picnics in the park, pizzas in the park and reading in the park. Botanic Gardens to be exact. I’ve seen the most painful looking tshirt tans, pale pale shoulders but frighteningly red wrists. I’ve seen girls in bikinis and large groups of men showing off their student two packs (often confiscated from the park warden, tennants do not sponsor sunny afternoons in the West End) and their flabby stomachs.

The last time I spent so much time in the park, I was studying for my fourth year exams. So I felt a lot of pity when I saw people arrive with armfuls of books and starting receiting academic phrases at each other, parrot style. Although in a few months, I’ll be joining them. Eeek.

My days really have been spent sitting around parks, getting up late and trying to make picnics. As well as the sunshine, one main bonus of the sunshine has been that I’ve finished a few books. A Special Providence by Richard Yates was replaced by Fight Club and Battle Royale (which when I saw Laura in the park yesterday, made her think I was on some violence kick).

Not just any anniversary, a M&S picnaversary

Ross and I celebrated our three year anniversary with a picnic, but not just any picnic. An M&S picnic. Exciting addition of mini sausages, and french dressing on salad meant that it was definately not from Iceland. But we sat out all day and Ross had a nap, because it’s not a day out unless Ross naps. Which was when I finished my Yate’s book actually.

But you can tell everyone has gone sun mad, not only because of all the bikinis and sunburn. It’s the weird things, like Boots having ran out of anything above factor 15. There were plenty of factor four, which my mum usually likens to cooking oil. So I had to gain my Boots points by having a tiny spray of factor 25 (which is quite watery) and then a large factor 15. Luckily for me, Ross seems to have acquired factor 60. Which gloops on like paint and smells like aftershave. So you always know if you missed a limb in the shower, because the smell haunts you.

Happy Anniversary

My Book of the Week, with thanks to Hillhead library

Twelve CVs later, I jump on the underground. My book of choice this week is another by Richard Yates. I foolishly tried to read Revolutionary Road before it came out at the cinema, so I could compare the two. But, I got distracted and forgot about the mission. So the film came out and I was reminded about the mission. And then the film left all cinemas and I cursed my mission. So, when I saw this at Hillhead library (which has at any one time,  two books that I want to read) I thought I would give it a try, no mission needed. It is the same easy reading as Revolutionary Road, the characters are still caught in the claustrophobic conditions of modern life and you feel yourself drawing comparisons to your own life. Although, I am only two chapters in and the main protagonist is a young man at war. So I don’t know where the comparisons are being drawn.

Five CVs handed in

I decided to get off the underground at St Enochs, so I could walk around Frasers (two CVs handed in at the concessions on the second floor) and Princes Square (a bumper five CVs handed out, although one woman was very nice and said that I could hand one in even though they weren’t looking. A waste of a CV). I used to work in Princes Square, and cursed every sunny Saturday when I was stuck counting the delivery to ensure we had 30 pairs to size 12 shorts. Fascinating. But, it was a very nice place to work, and it made sure I didn’t only wear baggy jeans and ensured that I knew at least two chart songs. Which I know word for word, due to the loop they played them on. Sigh. The rest of my CVs were eagerly handed into the Argyle Arcade, making the most of my jewellers experience. I earnestly explained why my CV had such a gap in it, and they all nodded as though they understood. They were impressed by my pre-existing jewellery knowledge and that I knew how to change a battery. Oh yes I do.

Rest of the day was spent getting free hugs on Argyle Street (three people in white tshirts just randomly hugging strangers, which was one of the highlights of my day). A day well spent!

This first became aparent when I was in primary school/high school and friends was all the rage. I had a lot of friends stuff. The increasingly ridiculously oversized coffee mug? Check. The boxsets of VHS videos? Check. The pyjamas? Check. The pencil case? Check. It was more a pencil tin, my friend Amanda (who went from being an X-files fan to being a nun) had the larger squishy one.

Exhibit A: The Mug. Mine was in banana yellow.

We would spend our days in first year quoting bits of the show, and when other people joined our table, we would have to ask them the question “doyoulikefriends, haveyouseen theonewherey knowChanandler Bongahahaha”. I probably started on road to being “uncool” very early on due to this obsession. It’s not like I even got all the jokes, all this talk of diaphrams and slick innuendo must have sailed over my head as the canned laughter promised me it was funny. Friday nights were spent at my friend Julianne’s house, sitting in her attic with a pizza and waiting impatiently for Ross and Rachel to finally get together. Every season finale had us screaming at the screen, and believing when we were older, we would totally be like the Friends cast. Lame.

After this, came Scrubs. Fast talking, cute music (that wasn’t Hootie and the Blowfish- take note, Friends) and even more lines to recite in the playground! Ohmigod! But I didn’t have fancy cable, I had four channels of imense guff, and so after series one, it just stopped. E4 were obviously hogging all the glory, and every but me was watching impatiently for JD and Elliot to finally get together.

I tried watching Sex and the City, but I didn’t like it. My life wasn’t about shoes, and brunch and attempting to look the same age as I was in the 80s. I used to watch tv with mum, and the uncomfortable silence as Samantha finally straddles nameless guy who she’s been persuing for at least 10 minutes of the episode, was just too much to take. I would know names and enough that I could nod along if someone pushed a name on me, so I’d be like “yeah, he’s so bad for her”.  But, it’s so overrated.

Big gap, in which I had a life. Oh, and watched ER but jeez. Talk about a black spot in my life. ER?! Urgh. It’s only now having a final season. Dead will walk the earth indeed.

Now I have How I Met Your Mother. It’s the old magic. Ted and Robin, watching impatiently for them to finally get together, and then watching Barney finally hit on that bar skank he’s had in his peripheral vision for at least 2 minutes of the show. It’s like watching a funnier Friends, because now I’m getting near their ages, and I’m realising that maybe Friends had it right, who needs a job when you have a coffee shop to sit around in. Or a bar, in the case of How I Met Your Mother. I get the jokes, but it’s something I could watch with Mum if need be. But no pencil case in sight. Plus, I hear they use regular sized mugs.

Then I went home and tried to decide what to do with my day, yesterday I sat around and watched tv. Relived my student days with a plate of spaghetti and toast and an excellent episode of Diagnosis Murder where there was a ghost. A ghost on a medical detective show. Oh yes, it was as amazing as it sounds. But today, I didn’t want to sit around. I wanted to do something.

After talking to Emma (in my phone as Highlands Emma, because she’s from Wick but lives in Edinburgh with her boyfriend) I decided I should jump on a megabus and go see her. So after parting with £7.50 and scribbling down my authorisation code from the internet, I ran off to get the bus. I’m not a big fan of the M8, but when it’s sunny, it’s actually okay. Well, bearable. I managed to finish that book on my travels so big success there!

Theres a number of things I always do in Edinburgh, I always visit Totty Rocks and the Red Door Gallery on Victoria Street, where it takes a lot of will power not to buy things I cant yet afford. But as I was with an Edinburgh resident, I was shown a new place. Peter’s Yard is a new place in Quarter Mile, which is right next to the meadows. Freshly baked bread and cakes as well as the best vanilla ice cream I’ve had. A plain choice for ice cream, but it was just what I was needing on a lovely sunny day.

So when I came back to Glasgow, I was full of the Edinburgh joys. The buildings looked brighter and the people a little happier. Just what the doctor ordered!

So now all I have to do is wait. I am not scarily excited about it, but I don’t think it’s really sunk in yet. I have to go and meet the woman tomorrow to discuss my plans for first year (its a masters year).

Things I did instead of reading university prospectuses

1. Watched Snog, Marry, Avoid on BBC3
2. Went to get ice cream
3. Worked in the jewellers
4. Found the new tescos in Partick
5. Ate chocolate cake
6. Watched rubbish on youtube

So I need to get up early tomorrow and read through some stuff. Maybe call her and ask what I need to bring!!

On the train to Edinburgh, my hair resembles Anne Frank's.

Cobbled streets, history of the old town and the small traditions of going to the German market at Christmas and buying fudge to eat on the train back home. When I studied Scottish history, I loved walking round St Giles Cathedral and explaining what important things happened there (this year I found out that two important people are buried inside, much to the secret delight of my inner history nerd). Whenever I was going through a stressful time at school or at home, I’d jump on a train to Edinburgh and walk around for a while.

I probably have a thousand more memories of Glasgow, but the ones I have in Edinburgh just stand out. For every happy memory of ferris wheels and secret trips, I have ones involving park benches and family strife at Christmas. But whenever I get into Edinburgh, my mood lifts instantly. I have friends out there I rarely see, so it’s always worth the trip over.

Apart from this, all is quiet in the West End, my time is swallowed up with application forms so I feel I haven’t had a moment to myself!